Actions Speak Louder Than Words

How often have you said (with good intention) that you would do something good for yourself? What percentage of the time didn't you follow through? What got in the way? And what message are you giving yourself when you don't make good on what you say?

We promise ourselves that we will exercise, stop smoking, eat better, stress less, etc., etc. We know what is good for ourselves yet we talk about making changes more often than we actually do make changes.

Something will always be there to provide a good excuse not to act. Too little time or money. Too many emergencies, laundry, family. Pick any excuse at all. They are only excuses that keep you from acting in your best interest.

If you love yourself and those who depend on you, you must begin to ACT, not only speak. When you nurture yourself, you have so much more to give to others.

So next time you get an urge to take better care of yourself, ACT on it!

Follow Your Heart

We all replay old messages; those that tell us what we "should" do. Whose "shoulds" are you hearing? If they are those of your own conscience, go ahead and follow them. If they are outdated "shoulds" from parents, siblings, spouses, teachers or others, proceed with caution.

Acting on the values of others makes us disingenuous people. Eventually, our selves splinter. We become disenchanted, depressed, not "ourselves." When we integrate all the parts that make us unique, we are whole, content, and happy.

When you follow your heart, you become genuine. When you are whole, you have reserves to weather life's challenges, energy to give to others, and the ability to appreciate the love that comes your way.

Follow your heart.

Get in Shape: Mentally and Physically

We all know that our bodies and minds are linked. If your mental health is not good, your body will show it, and vice versa. So where do you start?  Can you identify what is troubling you? Are you hiding behind an unhealthy body because you don't feel good about yourself? You can change things one of 2 ways: Work on your attitude or work on your body. Changes in one will positively affect the other.

Start simply, start small. Change just one thing about your behavior and let it settle in. It takes several weeks to establish a new habit. When this habit is established, add another. Then add another. Before long, these changes will begin changing your body and mind and you will be getting healthier.

Remember the longest journey starts with the first step.

Coming Into One's Own

Our lives are made of many small experiences, good and bad. In each situation, we learn something about ourselves, others or how the world works. It shapes our future actions and behavior, but most importantly, builds our character and strength.

Whenever tested, we have choices to make. We may not have control over those things that happen to us, but we can always choose our course of action and our attitude. We can sink or swim, love or hate, start or stop. There is always a choice. Knowing this gives us more control over our lives.

We may sometimes err, but there is always the lesson. Sometimes we can correct the mistake; sometimes we need to live with the consequences. But in every situation, a seed of strength is sown. Something is changed, that enables us to move forward, knowing we will be OK.

Whenever you are challenged, recall that you have weathered other storms and that you will weather this one too.

Birthdays

Today is my birthday. I have always loved celebrating it. As a girl, I would be happy to be another year older; receiving more responsibilities and privileges. Although I no longer wish to rush my life, this day still brings the girlish excitement of feeling special for a day.

My husband went out of his way this year. He shopped for some of my favorite foods, bought the richest chocolate cake on this earth, invited dear friends to dine with us, prepared, cooked and cleaned up after the meal. I felt very pampered and special.

Celebrate your special day. If no one offers to make it special for you, do it for yourself. Indulge in a favorite pastime, cook yourself a glorious meal, or throw yourself a party. Invite your friends to be with you.

Celebrate the day you came into this world, for it would not be the same place if you were not in it.

Humor

If it were not for a sense of humor, many would not survive life's trials and tribulations. Pity the person who cannot recognize the insanity in the midst of normalcy. One only need watch an episode of "Seinfeld" to realize that life can be very funny. While the show exaggerates the ordinary, most of us find truth in many of the situations created by the characters.

Particularly when we are under stress, humor can be life affirming. Who hasn't experienced some "black humor" in the midst of a serious situation? Some may think this is irreverent, but I would suggest that this is one of the best coping mechanisms of the human psyche.

Laughter brings people together, it mitigates the tragic in life, and is healing. If you find yourself in a difficult place, try laughter. Watch a comedy show on TV or the internet. See how you feel after you watch it.  I can almost guarantee your step will be just a little lighter. 

Give Your Children the Gift of Independence

I'm not talking about sending your toddler out on his own. I'm talking about giving your children increasing responsibility, followed by age-appropriate privileges.

Children who are overly sheltered face a rude awakening when they venture out on their own - and rest assured, they will some day venture out on their own, whether they are prepared or not. As parents, it is difficult to see our children hurt, disappointed or limited. With the exception of harmful situations, let them experience these feelings for themselves. They will discover their strengths and develop the coping mechanisms they will need when you are not there to shelter them from life.

Remember that challenges are opportunities to learn, grow and become stronger. Isn't this what you want for your children?

Do Something Different

This can be interpreted in two ways.

Do something different = break out of the box; be daring; get creative, try a new activity.

It can also mean stop doing the same thing if it causes the same (negative) results. Someone once said, "If you keep doing what you do you're gonna get what you got."

So, if it is not fruitful, STOP doing it - and DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.